HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL

SHOW TUNE SINGING CO-WORKERS NOT TO BE TRUSTED WITH NETFLIX RECOMMENDATIONS!

We fast frowarded the entire movie in fifteen minutes and didn't miss a thing.

this movie makes me want to have:

A glass of ice cold whole (not skimmed) organic milk with a thick gooey warm brownie to complete the toothachingly sweet Disney experience.

MANDERLAY

I SAW BRYCE DALLAS HOWARD‘S BUSH!

I am deeply sad to report that this movie is a mess. Sheepishly, I’m putting my home-made “I heart Lars Von Trier” T-shirt away until further notice. Sigh, Mr. Von Trier has lost an avid fan on this one.

ALRIGHT J, YOU CAN STOP LAUGHING NOW!

My hubby has never be fond of this piece of Danish.

Here’s what I would say to my formerly beloved Mr. Van Trier if I ever get a chance to meet him and managed not to faint: Racial issues in this country are so complex and sensitive, you can’t just google some data & make a movie out it. It’s just not that black & white. (pause for his reflection on my thoughts) (and if he is still there). Would you like to have dim sum with me sometimes?

That being said, I still think that the film was beautifully shot and visually stunning.

“ Are you kidding me?!” J’s already immense eyes just quadrupled in size.
“ This whole movie was lit with one light bulb and filmed in a card board box!!” He looks like he’s about to swallow me with no dipping sauce now.

I shrug and proceed to fix our dinner. No matter what happens, I still adore Von Trier’s minimalist style.

This movie makes me want to have:

Lemon herb roasted chicken with potatoes & carrots right out of the oven because there was a scene in the movie where Grace made the white people put on dark make-up and serve food to the black former slaves. I froze the frame twice and really thought that they were having roasted chicken with potatoes.

Yum!

AN ANGEL AT MY TALBLE

Just watched this movie again. There's really only one thing I could say about it,

WE ARE NOT WORTHY!
WE ARE NOT WORTHY!
WE ARE NOT WORTHY!

This movie makes me want to have:

Nothing.
My heart was too full of emotions to even think about food.

Pause.

Alright, if you insist. A box of See's Assorted Chocolate would be lovely to munch on while weeping at this heart-felt bio pic. Remember the scene when young Janet Frame and her sister stole Aunt Isy's prize chocolates and the euphoric expressions they had while savoring on each piece?

DAVID CHAPPELLE'S BLOCK PARTY

Thoroughly entertaining and totally inspirational. This is a Netflix must for anyone who cares for a soulful laugh. I know it sound cheesy, but art is really God's whispers. Some musicians in this DVD are simply divine.

This movie makes me want to have:

A FABULOUS COOK OUT WITH FINGER LICKIN' RIBS!

THE DESCENT (A.K.A WOMEN DON'T LET SHIT GO!)

Generally, I hate going to the city on my days off. But at the promise of a Grande blackberry green tea frapachino, I agreed to meet up with my hubby and see The Descent.

It turned out to be fabulous. I especially approved of the sweet taste of honeydew…Oh, yeah, so was the movie.

Twenty minutes into it (the movie, that is), the audience screamed collectively at the first scary scene. Not Bad, considering how desensitized we all are these days. Another five minutes later, the gang sitting in front of us started commenting cheerfully, “Oh, sh-iate!”, like how the Scottish character pronounced “shit” in the film. Not bad at all. For the entire movie, I was thoroughly scared, entertained, and forgot about all the food-related problems in this world for 90 minutes straight.

I highly recommend it if you are into horror flicks. Just don’t have a manicure right before, because it would just be a waste of time.

This movie makes me want to have:

JAMBA JUICE, LOTS & LOTS OF THEM, BECAUSE HIS MOVIE MADE ME FEEL LIKE I WAS TRAPPED IN A CAVE FOR 90 MINUTES AND IN NEED OF SOME HEALTHY REFRESHMENT. BUT NO RED FRUITS IN MY SMOOTHIE, PLEASE. I'VE HAD PLENTY DOSES OF GORE …

LADY IN THE WATER

What more is there to say about the latest M. Night disaster? I’ve always regarded him as one of the most interesting directors around, but this time he really let me down. To be more precise, he snapped right in front of our eyes.

How many senseless plots and embarrassing stereotypes can he pack into ONE FILM?! The most eerie scene for me was when Cleveland (played by Paul Giamati, the poor thing did all he could to save the film) pretended to act like a child (biting in a chocolate-chip cookie carelessly and not wiping his mouth after taking a gulp of milk) in front of the dragon-lady/psycho/Korean neighbor mom (Relax, I’m not talking about your mom) in order to get the “important piece of information”. WHAT KIND OF &^%$ BULL-SHIT IS THAT?! Since when do Asians (especially the SUPER DUPER ASIAN ASIANS) eat chocolate chip cookies and milk?! Mr. Shamalan, if you are going for accurate stereotyping, I suggest you to opt for sweet rice for the scene. After all, isn‘t that the rice patty hat look you are after?

So I basically thumb-wrestled with my hubby then with myself for the rest of the film and dreamed obsessively about Bulgogi (Korean barbecued steak), Samgye-tang (Ginseng chicken soup), and some good ol‘ Mandu (dumplings).

This movie makes me want to have:

KOREAN FOOD. I GOT HUNGRY JUST BY LOOKING AT THE CHEESY DECORS IN MRS. CHOI’S APARTMENT. THEY REMINDED ME OF ALL THESE DELECTABLE KOREAN RESTAURANTS ON 32 STREET. THE ONLY THING MISSING IN HER APARTMENT WAS A FAKE WATER FALL.